Good morning, friends, and much gentleness to you as we begin a fresh week and this first day of fall ~
A year ago, my eleven-year-old daughter was in a very difficult spot. Starting middle school is challenging enough, but what made the entrance especially hard were the debilitating stomachaches she was having every day at school. On top of this, she injured her wrist and ankle, both of which were inexplicably slow to heal. After many tests, appointments, and worrying, we discovered the culprit — celiac.
My daughter LOVES bread. She especially loved sourdough bread. I was just as sad with her. In December of 2020, one of my friends gave me some sourdough starter. It was the throes of the pandemic, and my youngest child was four-months-old. I thought there was no way I would keep this starter alive. And my first loaves of bread were very, VERY bad.
But as any sourdough baker will tell you, starter is extremely resilient. You can leave it for weeks in the fridge without a feeding then pull it out, add a bit of fresh water and flour, and it blooms right back to life. I experienced such joy in baking sourdough bread, giving away loaves, and passing along little tupperwares of starter to others so they could make their own. That’s part of the beauty of sourdough starter — it’s communal. You can receive it from others and take from your own to pass on.
So, when we discovered of my daughter’s celiac, one of our great griefs was the end of our sourdough baking. Or so we thought.
I learned from a friend about Aran Goyoaga . Aran is a fourth-generation pastry chef and cook who grew up in Spain. In the midst of a very successful career, Aran discovered both she and her son had severe autoimmune disorders that would no longer allow them to eat gluten. Rather than throw in the towel, she let her work — and herself — be transformed, devoting all her energy and creativity to making the best gluten free pastries and breads she could.
I was shocked in reading her book this year — The Art of Gluten-Free Bread — to learn there is a process to convert a regular sourdough starter into a gluten-free one.
You begin with a very small amount of your original starter, then add gluten-free flours (brown rice, teff, etc.) and fresh water to it. Then twelve hours later, you take out some of that starter, and do the same thing again, feeding with fresh gluten-free flour and water. Twelve hours later, you do it again. Over the course of multiple days and feedings, the gluten eventually disappears and you have in your jar a completely gluten-free starter.
Our initial loaves of gluten free sourdough were gummy and flat, but even so, we were thrilled to be making what felt like “real bread.”
What I found to be most meaningful in it was how this starter came from the original I received from my friend. Its essence was transformed into something completely new. The transformation happened little by little — not through throwing out what was there before and starting over, but by adding something fresh to it, bit by bit, day by day.
Life changes, we change, and what worked before no longer does. We must adapt to and embrace what we need now, lest we literally become sick. It requires a great deal of trust to be transformed. It requires patience. It cannot be rushed. It asks you to let God love the essence of you into something new, and let a new way of living take root. But not all at once. Not dramatically.
I’ve always loved the passage in Jeremiah 18 about the potter and the clay. It’s a beautiful metaphor of the way God takes what is there — that same lump of clay — and makes it into something new.
Because transformation doesn’t have to mean starting over. It can be recognizing possibility in what’s already there.
A Prayer
I’ve shared it before, and I’ll share it again — all about the process of transformation, being clay on the potter’s wheel, and embracing the messy middle. This is one of my favorite prayers from my book, Ash and Starlight: Prayers for the Chaos and Grace of Daily Life, Second Edition.
When I’m in the messy middle of something
Slow and steady God,
Things have changed,
and I know they’re not done changing.
I’m here on your potter’s wheel
where you’re shaping my essence into
something new with
guiding, loving hands.
But this messy middle time…
it’s painful, and scary, and hard.
The wheel spins and my world swirls
and all I want is to see the end result.
Becoming the broken-down
lump of clay was a
hard stage too, I might add.
Help me, God,
commit to the process,
not the outcome.
Help me embrace this messy middle time
when I must make space
for shifts and questions.
Change my mantras from
clarity to exciting ambiguity,
definition to open-endedness,
certainty to awe-filled surprises,
timeline to trust.
Help me believe, Lord,
that even what seems
to be negative change
makes room in me and around me
for something fresh (and good).
You hum a tune of possibility
and potential as you work.
With each move of your hand,
you mutter,
“Beautiful.”
“Beautiful.”
“Beautiful.”
And, you smile.
Amen.
Isaiah 29:16 * Isaiah 64:8 * Jeremiah 18:1–6
“‘Can I not do with you…just as this potter has done?’ says
the Lord. ‘Just like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in
my hand…’” —Jeremiah 18:6
Something that nourished me recently…
*The kids enjoyed making some autumn tree canvases the other day outside. They took q-tips and dipped them in paint to make the leaves — a cool effect!
*While I love children’s Bibles and we have a plethora of them in our home, this book is one of my kids’ favorites — and mine — for the story of Jesus. We read it often, and there was a stretch where my youngest, Noah, wanted it read every night. On the page with the story of Jesus walking on the water, Noah thoughtfully said, “I think that if Jesus did a cannonball, he would float.”
*I have loved poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer’s work for some time. This poem, “Not the Worst,” in particular has stuck with me this week. Check out her blog and writing here.
Ash and Starlight, plus other good things…
* MY ETSY SHOP ~ There are some new autumn and halloween items in the Etsy shop!! A women’s autumn t-shirt, pillow cases, napkins, and a fun kids’ halloween shirt! You can view the shop here . Some new cards, prints, and originals to come later. I send a portion of sales in my Etsy shop to Feed My Starving Children.
*SECOND EDITION OF ASH AND STARLIGHT ~ Find the updated edition of my book here at Chalice or at the Bookshop link.
*MONDAY MANNA ARCHIVES ~ Monday Manna each week is free! Supporting supporters of Monday Manna can view previous Monday Manna reflections here, or for the really old stuff, go to my website.
*WHAT DOES MANNA MEAN? ~ Check out an earlier post to learn how this little bit of “daily bread” got its name…
Little by little, bit by bit, let the Spirit do its work in you this week, friends. It all belongs, and you’re becoming new. Keep trusting.
Love and Light,
Arianne
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Wow, this parable is so on-point. And I’m glad for you and your daughter that you found a way to keep something you love as you adapted to that new reality! And thank you as always for this beautiful prayer I needed this today. 💛
Such a beautiful metaphor, Arianne!