Good morning, friends, and peace to you in this fresh week ~
I’m penning this early as our family prepares to head out of town, and I hope you are finding some good grounding as the week begins. Here’s a quote to get us started from beloved Anne Lamott…
“Perfection is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”
I’ve been reflecting some more on perfection (or imperfection, rather). On chips and brokenness and shadow sides. While I was on my retreat a couple weeks ago, I returned to a favorite devotional book I received nearly twenty years ago — Cup of Our Life, by Joyce Rupp. Using a mug or cup as not only a symbol but also a tangible visual, Joyce reflects on our very selves and lives as a “cup,” filled with God’s Spirit and held by God’s hands.
In paging through, I noticed how one of the most dog-eared portions of my book was her section on the “chipped cup.” I was moved anew by the freeing and empowering perspective Joyce brought to what’s broken.
“My flaws,” Joyce came to discover, “are some of my greatest treasures, like grains of sand in oyster shells that must grate and irritate to become pearls. My imperfections keep my ego in check. They remind me daily how much I need the grace of God.”*
But beyond the flaws or traits we struggle to accept in ourselves….what about the things and experiences we encounter in life that “break” us? That leave cracks we will carry the rest of our lives?
On our bedroom dresser sits a piece of kintsugi pottery my husband, Jeff, made last fall in a class called, “The Beauty of Imperfection” (side note and shout-out to Brené Brown whose book, The Gifts of Imperfection, changed my life).
Kintsugi is a Japanese art form of repairing broken pottery through gluing the pieces together with a gold or silver lacquer.
One of the profound symbolisms in this pottery, of course, is how the cracks are what make the piece more beautiful. In some ways, the more cracks = the more gold = the more beautiful. Every student was given an in-tact bowl to place in a canvas bag, alongside a hammer. They were to strike the bag just one time. Many in the class had their bowls broken to pieces, but Jeff’s broke in a single place. Just two pieces.
He was actually pretty disappointed, and wanted to to put it back in the bag for another round. The instructor not only wouldn’t allow it, but said this is actually quite common. It seems even hammering and brokenness can become grounds for insecurity and comparison.
What I especially love about this kintsugi bowl, as well as Joyce’s words on flaws becoming pearls, is how they highlight what’s much more important, and sacred, than perfection —
Wholeness.
Cracks in the bowl don’t make it less whole.
And the gold glue highlights how along the way, the bowl entrusted itself to some guiding, loving hands to enter a new stage of beautiful wholeness.
We can nearly never “fix” the cracks we carry in life, but we also can’t become whole without help. It takes God’s guiding, gracious, Spirit. It takes surrender and trust, a willingness look with honesty and love at all we are.
And speaking of looking with love, I hope you’ll remember that’s the only way God ever looks at you. Like what Anthony deMello beautifully says…
“Look at God looking at you…and smiling.”
Pristine, “perfect” things or places are the ones never used or touched. They are not engaged in life or blessing others. Often, they’re covered in dust. It’s like what my six-year-old often says when he finds a book falling apart (we especially can’t seem to keep covers intact around here)…"Mommy, that book got a lot of love.”
Are there some cracks in yourself, your life, you are especially struggling to embrace right now? What would it look like to entrust yourself—with all the cracks and pieces— to God?
The God who is smiling at you?
*Joyce Rupp, Cup of Our Life: A Guide for Spiritual Growth, Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1997.
A Prayer
A prayer reminding us everything belongs and contributes to the wholeness, from my book, Ash and Starlight: Prayers for the Chaos and Grace of Daily Life…
When I’m a paradox of feelings
Sweet Spirit,
How grateful I am for
your companionship
in all I feel and hold.
Sometimes I feel unglued,
going in so many directions
and yearning for centeredness
amid the clamor.
Sometimes I feel bored stiff,
weighed down by the
heavy sameness of
my days and my choices.
Sometimes I feel strong and grateful,
amazed at the sweetness
in this season of life.
Sometimes I feel self-pitying,
sad that another week passed
without a phone call from family
or invitation from a friend.
Sometimes I feel consumed with worry –
people who need help,
people making sad choices,
people I feel responsible for,
people I don’t understand
(or don’t understand me).
You beautifully seam my paradoxes,
grounding both my
flurry and emptiness,
my worry and joy,
in your heart.
Help me give each of
these feelings their place –
to honor them,
accept them,
and with a breath of release,
blow away the ones no longer needed.
I praise you, Loving Spirit,
for the fresh energy and freedom you offer.
Thank you for living within me,
breathing your peace and power
into the bottom of my being.
It is not by my own abilities but by you
that I live out my calling.
I ask for your support to be with me,
for you are my Source of true strength.
And with me you are –
in the variety of unique
circumstances and challenges I face.
I open my arms and eyes
with the acceptance you’re teaching me..
Amen.
Psalm 20:7 * Psalm 41:12 * Zechariah 4:6
“You know me inside and out,
you hold me together…”
- Psalm 41:12 (The Message)
Something that nourished me recently…
*This question from “Pray as You Go” on Ash Wednesday last week has continued to nestle in my heart….How could I enjoy this Lent? Such a different approach and mindset. My Lent did not get off to an enjoyable start…during our Ash Wednesday service, we had quite the display of sin and our need for redemption before our very eyes in the exchanges of my two boys. After much yelling and fighting in the small chapel space, the climax involved my older son picking up his seat cushion and smacking his younger brother in the face. And that was the cue to exit.
*But there were sweet moments too! Like celebrating Valentine’s Day and helping with the class party.
*Marathon Peanut Butter — This has been literally nourishing me on the regular. Recipe from Elyse Kopecky and Shalane Flanagan’s wonderful book, Rise and Run.
Ash and Starlight, plus other good things…
*SECOND EDITION OF ASH AND STARLIGHT ~ Find the new edition of my book here!
*EXPLORING WHITENESS CLASS ~ Apologies for my link last week as I learned through you it didn’t work! I’m hoping this one does. Our church is half-way through a four-week study on whiteness. This past week’s discussion on “white privilege” was very powerful, with a lot of different perspectives in the room, all held and heard by those gathered. Here was one of the best takeaways — “White privilege doesn’t mean your life hasn’t been hard. It means that your skin color hasn’t been one of the things making it harder.” Join us on Thursday evenings at 7:00 if you’re close to Wilmette!
The goal is wholeness…allow God’s hands to get gluing. You are loved and beautiful. You are whole.
Love and Light,
Arianne
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Arianne - Shortly after I read your reflection this morning, I read this prayer from Pâdraig Ó Tauma...
"Distant Jesus,
You are often hard to grasp.
Help us see where we break the things
we say we wish to save
so that we might imagine
a different kind of being in this world together.
Amen."
― from "Being Here: Prayers for Curiosity, Justice, and Love"
Seemed to connect...