Monday Manna

Be the river...

My kids and I had fun painting some daffodils together last week. Thanks for the inspo, Erin Gleeson!

Good morning, friends, and much gentleness and love to each of you this morning…

I’ve always thought of myself as an autumn person, but in recent years, spring has become a favorite. Maybe it’s because I’ve needed, in a very tangible way, reminders of new life, possibility, growth, and change. There’s a sense of fresh energy, and with the sounds of birds, the sight of buds, the fragrance of flowers, we physically experience the earth enlivening around us.

With all this new life and movement, spring is a natural time to think about what I want to change in myself and in my life — more-so than in the cold and quiet slumbers of January. It could also be because this is my birthday month, and that’s always a reflective time.

I believe we all long for change in some respect. I shared quite a bit from John O’Donohue a couple posts ago, and he has wise words in naming this. “To change,” he writes, “is one of the great dreams of every heart — to change the limitations, the sameness, the banality, or the pain.”*

We want to step out of patterns no longer serving us. To become and be who we long to be. Who we know we really are, deep within.

Then why does it often feel so difficult to change?

I had a complete aha! moment about this while listening to Chen Li on his Life Wisdom podcast episode called “Effortless Discipline” (we wonder if those two words can go together, don’t we?).**

Li profoundly reflects on how we struggle to change because of the customary way we approach it. When we make “resolutions,” or sometimes even intentions, we often view change like a battle we must win. We feel we must fight, use force, and “conquer” the old pattern or behavior. There is a clear line between succeeding and failing. But the thing is, this battle is against ourselves. We become exhausted, and eventually abandon the efforts to change not out of weakness, but basic self-preservation.

“Our resolutions,” Li says, “become weapons turned against our own being, instruments of guilt and judgment rather than pathways of transformation.” In essence, this way toward change is founded in violence. Sadly, it’s the metaphor we are culturally very accustomed to, not only in this realm.

What Li offers instead — here is my great aha! — is to approach change like a river.

We know water to be incredibly flexible, adaptable, and strong, yet its power comes from gentleness and unrelenting patience. A river flows gently, but persistently. Think of the Grand Canyon. It was not created from an explosion, but rather, the soft, patient coursing of water over millions of years.

This is such a different framework than that of the battle — one rooted in violence, and at some level, self-hatred. True and lasting change can’t be born here. It must come from love and respect. In fact, I’ve always thought change came down to self-control. It is a Fruit of the Spirit after all!*** But it was in listening to Li’s words that I realized change happens not through self-control, but out of self-care.

We make different choices because we love ourselves and trust we are sanctuaries of the Spirit, not because we are disgusted with ourselves.

To approach change like a river is to believe small (seemingly effortless!) acts we return to again and again (not perfectly!) will bring us the direction we want to go. And herein lies one of the big keys. It’s been engrained in us along the way that change has to be painful or hard or sacrificial in order for it to be effective. Speaking for myself, I’ve often been skeptical of what seems easy.

But if we imagine ourselves like the river, we will choose the smallest steps that are oriented more by direction than destination. We might ask ourselves, what is a baby step I can take, and repeat, over time? And then to think of these choices not as rules for yourself, but as rituals. Rules can be broken. Rituals are anchors. You return to them again and again, because change happens not through perfection, but through a persistent and gentle return to alignment.

It might be taking three deep breaths before a meal to remember all who brought it to you, rather than demanding you have a 30 minute meditation practice. Or drinking a large glass of water in the morning before your coffee. Or choosing at least one food each time you sit down to eat that feels truly nourishing, rather than holding expectations about dramatic ways your body should change.

Obstacles are a part of it and to be expected. So are reversions to old patterns and behavior. But here is another way the river teaches us. When a river encounters rocks or a dam or something blocking it, it patiently builds, then finds a way to flow around the rock. It adapts, and finds a path forward, always eventually flowing where it needs to go. And the water doesn’t judge itself when it comes against a rock that stops it. Or the fact that there is another rock when it just went around a rock before.

There will be many, many rocks. But that also creates part of the beauty.

A complete Spirit synchronicity…this was the quote on my calendar after the weekend when I’d just written this post. Thank you, Holy Spirit….

I think this is why I’ve sometimes wrestled with these dramatic conversion stories in the Gospels where there seems to be such a clear before and after. Was it really that clean? Did people immediately follow Jesus and never look back? Maybe it’s also why I’ve always found a lot of kinship with Simon Peter — a two steps forward, one step back kind of guy. He really lived in the messiness of what a transformative journey actually looks like. And even when he screwed up at a time when it mattered most, Jesus showed him the way forward.

As I’ve continued to reflect on this whole new and liberating framework about change Li provides, I realized drinking water during the day can even be a ritual and helper for us in this. That each time we pause to drink from our water bottle or sip a cup, we can remember two things — 

That we, like the river, can gently change and create change.

and

That we drink from the Living Water, the Life Source for that change. (John 7:37-39)

I keep this piece of iron art that used to belong to my grandfather hung in our home office — the verse from Zechariah 4:6 — “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord…”

The Spirit is life, breath, power, and living water to you, friends. I invite you to think about the small steps you can take, and repeat over time, which will be anchoring rituals for you in helping you live as you truly want to live. And to embody spring’s energy, which is fresh and new, but also slow and gentle.

As you take your steps, encounter obstacles, and find your path forward, remember that you flow like the river, and this kind of flowing energy is one that never runs out. As Li says, “brute force exhausts itself. Persevering gentleness renews, and is a more refined, more enduring, more effective form of strength.”

Be the river, and flow…

***

*"To Bless the Space Between Us,” by John O’Donohue, p. 48

** “Effortless Discipline” episode by Chen Li from the “Life Wisdom” podcast on January 25, 2026. Listen here.

***Galatians 5:22-23 shares the Fruit of the Spirit

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A Prayer

This prayer from my book, Ash and Starlight, is one that speaks to the journey of transformation, and that it is a winding one. May it bring you hope and encouragement as you live into the freedom that belongs to you, because of Jesus.

When I’m breaking free

Spirit of grace and grit,

You are the Giver of freedom.

I’ve been asking for it.

For years.

For that strength, courage,

and discipline to break free.

But, I’m now realizing

that while freedom

sometimes comes in

one, glorious breakthrough

where I burst through the

bramble into a fresh clearing,

never to turn back or tread the old path,

ready to leave the darkness

of the forest behind me…

Well, that’s just not been my experience.

More often, freedom comes

through a muddy trail run where I’m

weaving and winding,

not always moving forward,

but continually progressing.

The dirt sticking to the crevices of my shoes,

the roots I knead with the soles of my feet,

the pine needles collecting in my hair,

teach me what I so wanted to leave behind

actually becomes my story.

And, how, with you,

there are no dead ends or pointless loops.

They are part of the journey…the story….

And, I need them.

When I can take in

what dim light I find

within the trees and

keep making each step

on the uneven trail,

I learn to trust.

To trust I am not lost,

but burrowed in a womb

of life-giving mystery.

And, you say,

“You are already free.

Now live into that truth.”

Amen.

Psalm 118:5 * John 8:32 * 2 Corinthians 3:17

“[Jesus said,]… ‘[Y]ou will know the truth, and the truth will

make you free.’” —John 8:32

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Something that nourished me recently…

*It was a beautiful Easter Sunday last week. We are “Easter people in a Good Friday world,” friends, as Anne Lamott reminds us. This is what our faith is all about, and what I cling to, especially in these times. Thanks be to God.

Somehow, we made it through most of the morning with the boys’ shirts still white — until lunch. And I got to wear a new dress I designed with one of my peony paintings which I hope to put on the Etsy shop soon.

*We traveled over spring break to visit family in Chattanooga and Atlanta and got out for some hiking. Being in this landscape with loved ones was manna for the soul.

*I know I’ve shared quotes from Insight Timer before, but this one last week was just perfect for our theme today. Thank you, Sharon Salzburg.

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Ash and Starlight, plus other good things…

* MY ETSY SHOP ~ My Etsy shop will be turning a year old later this week!! I’ll be sending paid Monday Manna subscribers a discount to use on prints in the store at some point, so stay tuned for that. I’m working to prep some things to launch this spring! In the meantime, I have cards, prints, clothes, blankets, and pillows all for sale in my Etsy shop which you can view here . I send portions of sales in my Etsy shop to World Central Kitchen which provides hunger relief.

*SECOND EDITION OF ASH AND STARLIGHT ~ Find the updated edition of my book here at Chalice or at the Bookshop link.

*MONDAY MANNA ARCHIVES ~ Monday Manna each week is free! Paid supporters of Monday Manna can view previous Monday Manna reflections here, or for the really old stuff, go to my website.

*WHAT DOES MANNA MEAN? ~ Check out an earlier post to learn how this little bit of “daily bread” got its name…

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One more good word from Chen Li, friends, as we flow into this week… “Perhaps one day, looking back at the path we have travelled, we will discover that we have changed, not in spite of our gentleness, but because of it.

Love and Light,

Arianne

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