Good morning, friends, and much love at the start of this new week ~
This is a week with a lot of love in it, and not only because of Valentine’s Day, but because of Lent starting (which actually is Valentine’s Day, as Ash Wednesday is February 14th as well). While Lent may seem to have a dark connotation (repentance is important and integral), the bedrock of Lent is all about love. The love God has for us. The love we’re called to live.
I mentioned last week how I recently had the privilege of going to Holy Wisdom Monastery on retreat for a couple days. The timing was God’s grace to me in the midst of questions I’ve been carrying around and lots of wondering about some next steps. There were countless soothing and inspiring gifts to that place, that time, those people, but one of the most transformative experiences for me was “Centering Prayer.”
In addition to the Daily Prayer services held by the sisters—morning, noon, and evening— were two additional prayer times called “Centering Prayer.” There were no readings. No music. No guidance or direction. It was a time to settle into the dark, candlelit space, sit in your chair, and breathe in the silence…for twenty minutes.
Centering prayer, the sisters said, is the practice of “holding an open, invitational posture toward God.” It’s about our intention to “surrender ourselves to God’s presence and God’s healing or transforming purpose.” And there are four aspects:
Choosing a sacred word as the symbol you want to return to as you focus on God’s presence (maybe “mother,” or “abba,” or “grace,” etc.)
Be still in the body, concentrating on your breath and closing your eyes.
Be still in the mind, letting go of thoughts and returning to your word as your mind wanders.
Listening to the beautiful chime of the singing bowl after twenty minutes are done, and soaking in those last few moments of what my friend called our “spirit bath.”
From the outside, Centering prayer looks and feels like nothing. And I will say, the first time I did it felt so uncomfortable. I found a chair near the giant peace lily plant and window filled with turning-dusk-sky, then fidgeted and wondered how many minutes were left after about three of them.
But as I kept opening my eyes and seeing the peaceful posture of the sisters, the flicker of the single white pillar candle, I slowly began to settle. And I tried to keep showing up — for the stillness, the silence, the Spirit.
By the third time, I felt as though magic were happening in me. I kept the image of God holding me in love as my touch-tree, and I truly rested. I rested in God’s love.
I felt as though the stillness was stitching me back together — like the muscles of my darting-squirrel-brain and anxious heart were strengthening. Like the deepest forms of stability and stamina were stretching out their roots.
All while “doing nothing.”
It is no wonder to me why the sisters from the Monastery exuded such strength, peace, and joy. I think especially of sister Joanne whom I talked to frequently, one of the founders of this unique ecumenical monastery, who has been there 69 years. They have a steadiness in their lives of service because they are fueled by the richest fare there is. And they know it. It almost feels like a sacred secret because it is so counter-cultural to the wiring we receive every single day in our productivity and optimization.
There is so much pressure on us all the time, much of it self-imposed. To really rest in the reality of God’s love for us — simply because we are — is the most freeing gift we can receive.
I’m reminded of a book, Real Love, I just started reading last week by Sharon Salzburg, a Buddhist meditation teacher.
“You do not have to earn love,” she writes. “You simply have to exist.”
That has been a hard truth for me to believe throughout my life. But at the monastery, sitting on that chair by the peace lily, I received a small taste of how completely transformative it could be if I did.
More than anything else, I hope this Lenten season will be a time for you to rest in God’s love while “doing nothing.”
Because if you do, you’ll be free.
A Prayer
A prayer for our hearts — and all they carry — from my book, Ash and Starlight: Prayers for the Chaos and Grace of Daily Life…
For Valentine’s Day
Loving God,
As I think about Valentine’s day,
I bring you my heart…
a hopeful heart,
a disappointed heart,
a confident heart,
a heart-in-hiding,
a grateful heart,
an angry heart,
a patient or “I’m so done and over with this” heart,
a restless heart,
a full or aching-with-hollowness heart,
a scarred heart,
a scared heart,
a heart that sings or
a heart long silent,
a surprised heart,
a struggling heart,
a broken heart,
a beautiful heart…
I wear my heart as the badge of honor it is–
any heart that keeps beating love
in a broken world
is a testimony to grace,
to resurrection,
to you….
Somehow, God, you find a way to curl yourself
into the most closed hearts…
to make your way through
the heart’s minefield,
knowing where to step,
where to heal.
I know, God, that broken,
beautiful hearts are powerful –
the world was changed, is changed,
because of your broken, beautiful heart.
And there’s beauty to be found in the pieces…
Thank you, God – Love made Flesh –
for hiding me in your heart.
Amen.
Mark 12:30-31 * John 1:14 * Ephesians 3:16-17
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart,
and with all your soul, and with all your mind,
and with all your strength…”
- Mark 12:30
Something that nourished me recently…
*Speaking of singing bowls, my husband gave me this one last Christmas and I’ve loved it and been using it more (once I figured out you can’t be touching it when you use the mallet!).
*My good and talented friend, Steve Thorngate, just came out with a new album for Lent and we are listening to it on repeat. The debut concert last week even had my three-year-old rapt with attention. It’s the perfect companion as we head into this Lenten season. Buy the digital album, CD, or songbook here. My favorite is Track 3!
*Once again, the myriad gifts of Holy Wisdom Monastery….including a labyrinth someone created in the snow, the restored prairie grounds, and the peace lily plant I sat by for prayer.
Ash and Starlight, plus other good things…
*SECOND EDITION OF ASH AND STARLIGHT ~ Find the new edition of my book here!
*DEEP BREATH RETREATS AT HOLY WISDOM ~If you are ordained clergy, you are eligible to go to Holy Wisdom for up to six nights covered as part of their generous clergy renewal program!! Learn more here.
You are worthy of love, friend. Hoping you will center and rest in that truth and reality this week….and the many days to come.
Love and Light,
Arianne
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Thank you! This was beautiful and a much needed read on Ash Wednesday.